It She Was About to Die…

Wednesday, December 10, 2008
1:17:42 AM

This is my personal, especially dedicated post to my great grandmother, my very own ‘moyang’. She was staying at my grandmother’s house (which was located only next to mine), being very disabled for her age which almost reached 100 years old. As we know, an old person who was not having any medical records of health problem will finally die of aging. This is what I had about to witness in front of my eyes. My great grandmother has been staying with us since I was still studying in ASiS, which made that about three years ago. I have been spending a lot of time with her, and she was always there when I was about to leave for KL. Now, the talkative old woman that I know is not able to move around all by herself, and need assistance to even go to the toilet. She was dying, and it was obvious to me. I hope if she was meant to die in the closest time, she will die with me by her side. I love her, and I want her to know that we all not reluctant to let her go. She lived long enough and by the time she should go, she will go with all of our prayers. She can’t recognize me anymore, but its ok, because I’m fine with that. It was not her fault at all. Not at all.

“Segala puji bagi Tuhanku, rabbal jalallah yang menguasai setiap sesuatu. Kurniakanlah rahmat dan kesejahteraan kepada kami, hamba-hambamu ya Allah. Berikan kekuatan kepada kami bagi menempuhi setiap kesukaran, ujian dan dugaan yang engkau turunkan. Tetapkanlah hati-hati kami sebagai hati-hati yang sentiasa mengingatimu dan gentar dengan pembalasanmu. Berikan rahmat dan keberkatan kepada saudara-saudara kami yang masih hidup dan juga yang telah meninggal dunia. Hanya kepadamu, Tuhan sekalian alam, tempat kami memohon pertolongan. Rabbi yasir, wala tu’assir ya Allah.”

Don't be Silly. You Know It's Impossible.

Yes, go on everybody. Discourage me. I need not a single support from any of you guys. "Don't be Silly. You Know It's Impossible." You will see what impossible means to me. I will definitely put the s**t back right on your face. I was in definite anger right now, and you know it. Congratulations, enemies, you have succeded in provoking me. So now, PLEASE shut the f**k up.

Al-Insyirah; 6-7, the Best Way to Overcome Stress

Wednesday, December 03, 2008
1:48:10 AM

“Verily, with the hardship, there is relief (i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two relief) [6]. So when you have finished (from your occupation), then stand up for Allah (i.e. stand up for prayer) [7].”

Days ago, I was really tensed up. My head severely ached and I can’t for almost all night. Why? I was so tired from the day’s physical labor and the night’s SAT revisions. I was so blurred, lost inside myself with nothing to do. Everything for me is not right, and I really want to let it all out. An urge to smoke appeared inside of me (frankly saying, I do smoke when I was really tensed up). I just don’t know what to do. After my Isyak prayer (which I usually done at midnight), I grab my phone and perused the soft copy of Al-Quran in it. There, I found those magnificent words which I had mentioned above. Remember, my friends, or to be specific, my Islamic brothers and sisters, whenever you are stressed out, recite Al-Insyirah. Recite Al-Quran. Whenever you feel uneasy, perform your Solat. There lies the peace and calamity.

Am I That Bad?

Sunday, November 30, 2008

First thing first, just realized that Nur Azleen had written something about I been calling her before her TOEFL. Come on, pal, is it necessary to write about that in your post? Including the picture? I wouldn’t mind, just nobody had ever done that for me before. Anyway, thanks. I will always appreciate that. I had realized one common pattern in almost everyone in the blogosphere, especially those Glendalians. Most of us were obviously writing about love, affairs and relationship. Why is that so, my friends? Well, to make this more interesting, I will write about my very own personal relationship with my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I have been together since we were in form 1, when we were 13 years old. People who know this have been asking me countless times about me getting bored of her, or even the relationship we were having. My answer, it is boring. It have been too long, and we couldn’t even remember our first anniversary (to be specific, our first time getting together). It was a long, long time ago and we were very young at that time. It was a sad thing that we couldn’t remember our own anniversary. However, we were very happy to have each other until now and hopefully, until the end of time. She called me last night, about 30 past 1 in the morning. I have to wake up and stay awake because she can’t sleep. If it was possible, I would stay with her until the sun rises. But we were both running out on credits. So, we have to keep it short and simple. Have I mentioned about my plan for SAT yet? I guess it will not be easy for me to be alone. I plan to go to Shah Alam the next Wednesday, and stroll around the city all by myself. Hopefully it will be so much fun to spend some time with myself. Today, the class placement has been released at the SOS. Asnida told me about it this morning, and asked me if I want her to check it for me. I guess not yet, for I was not ready to face another bad news. But don’t worry; I will let you know when I do, later. I have some problem to log into my blogger account, and I was so mad at it. I’ve tried it times and times again, but they keep saying that my account is not valid. The worst thing is, now I forgot my new password… I will try again… To remember well my passwords…

Materialistic; Who to be blamed?

Friday, November 28, 2008

It was almost 2 am and I was still typing my thoughts into words. It was a quite tiring day at work, and I was so pleased that my pay day is finally approaching. There is nothing but one thing that I keep on thinking while at work today, which is how a person could be so materialistic. It was realistic and relevant, though, how people see the benefit of being materialistic. I would indifferently disagree if somebody said to me that ‘Syahmi, love is something that money can’t buy.’ In our world today, money is the first thing in place, in order to keep our very own survival or to establish a well being community of our own under our control. It might sound difficult but in a vernacular language, it means that we need money as our basic needs, not only for pleasure but also for surviving. It was significant and the scenario could be obviously seen all around the community in the recent world. Think about it, and ask yourself. Are you materialistic enough to survive???

Nobody Say That Life Was Fair…

Thursday, November 27, 2008

We aren’t always winning.
Sometimes we were just too contented with our life and somehow, become too pleased with it. However, we are unaware that the best life it not yet to be ours. It had just occurred to me that I was not satisfied enough with my life (human, they will never be satisfied with what they have). I was working almost 8 hours a day and most of my time at home was spent on playing games. My SAT examination is just coming out and I don’t think that I was ready enough to face it. I called Paan last night, and he had been studying quite a lot during all these time. While all of my friends and colleague was studying for the examination, I was busy working and collecting money. To be true, I was developing to be a workaholic. Nope, my job is not that interesting, if that what you think it might be. It was a harsh, tiring job which requires you to be strong either mentally or most importantly, physically. If you’re not, you might probably end up being scolded by some crazy old man who assumes himself as the big boss of the industry (even though he was obviously not). Enough about my job. I was now distressed on two things, which I thought had led me astray from my initial intention. The first one, or can I say, the worst one, is my increasing interest of playing music. I’m starting to lose focus on my study and started playing guitar more than studying. This was all caused by my action on changing the strings upside down so I can finally hold the chords like a normal right handed person. The solo part was made easier, and there is just many songs that I can play compared to those before. My mother was not so supportive of my interest in music, and I think she will not allow me to buy the left handed guitar. Damn. The next thing, is my laziness to study for my SAT Examination. It is not that I was overconfident on my ability to answer the question without any doubt or hesitation, but I think I was just too relaxed. I just don’t know. Maybe I will have to spend more time studying while having my instruments grounded in the store. *wink*

Identity Crisis; I’m on the Verge of Breaking Down

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I was really worn out from the day’s works, and I was writing the log for the second overnight but suddenly I thought that I should have written something about my current life, in the first place. Here is my pathetic life; ENJOY! My pointer for the Final Examination is the first thing to be worried about. I was so tensed up with my result and after checking it, I have lost my mood and skipped going to work. Next, I’ve called the music store in Plaza Alam Sentral, and asked him about the Lefthanded Electric guitar and he said that the last one was sold last week.

“kan aku dah booking?”
“ye r dik, tapi ko booking pon bukan letak deposit.”
“Abes nak order baru x dapat dah harge ney?”
“Balik harge asal r, RM799.”

I had just read the post by Zul, about the Fender Strat, and I would like to mention my gratitude for him. Nice effort, pal!