And still, I would say moving on for me is not an option, but a gift that I have yet to receive. A friend of mine maintained her own opinion; that love is only physical and true love does not exist. Last night, I spent a few hours discussing with someone with credibility on the topic "What is Love?". Here is my transcription.
So what is love?
Let's us first define the scope of love, in what context does it work, and in what terms are we discussing right here. Well of course, there is love for the parents, love for the family and love for friends. And of course, we would mostly talk about the relationship between a guy and a girl when talking about love. The question is, how do you feel love? How would you describe love? How do you know when you are in love? You might as well be in love with your best friend and yet you just don't know it.
Firstly, love is unconditional. You love someone without any condition. What conditions are we talking about? Here is an example. I will love this particular girl only if she loves my mom. I will love this girl just as long as she don't know about my smoking habit. Got it? There is no condition on true love. We will love them as we are, as they are.
Your girlfriend is coming to your place tonight. You left your clothes where they are; on your chair and on your bed. I'm not implying this as getting naked but there's nothing to hide from your true love. Believe it or not, you are most comfortable when you are with your girlfriend compared to your friends. You don't mind your special partner to see you all messed up during a hard, stressful weekend, and as for the girl, you won't mind your man to see you without makeups. You might as well prove to them that girls doesn't really farts rainbows as what we all had in mind. Now, what is that called? Yes, unconditional.
"So that means I'm in love with a lot of people, because I was comfortable, and unconditional with a lot of people, as for me, girls."
We will answer that question as we go further into this discussion.
Moving to the second part, love is unrewarding. What I mean here is, that, we don't expect anything from him/her. We love her from the first part, which is unconditional, and we don't expect him or her to love us back. We should not even expect marriage from her when we love her truly. This is the best part of it, when you love someone, you don't expect her to love you back and you don't expect her to treat you right. If she does, loves you back, and if it is true love, then it is a bonus for you. Be grateful then, you are the 1%! Importantly, you should not demand anything from the person you love.
"As for me, love is only physical. Well, you love someone for his or her looks, to get on her pants or anything such. You are lying if you don't love someone for her beauty. Everybody loves beautiful things."
This is so untrue. You might LIKE someone for her beauty, you might ADORE someone for her interesting character, you might WORSHIP someone for her wisdom, but you can only LOVE someone for being her.
"So love is acceptance, right?"
Wrong. Friendship is acceptance, but not love. Acceptance, or in Malay/Arabic is "redha" in this context, is more towards friendship. Acceptance in love is much more stronger that that, more that you would ever imagine. In true love, you don't just accept, but you are satisfied, devoted. You highly value that very person. That, my friends, is true love. Love is a feeling, and acceptance does not go under that category.
"Now, that you say love is a feeling, how do we feel love?"
This is a redundant question which have been answered. Back to what I've mentioned before, when you love someone, you don't put conditions and expectations, and you accept him or her as who they are. You won't change a thing about them.
"So you're saying, when you love someone, you just know it? That is not strong enough. Not convincing at all."
Not strong enough for empirical people, but strong enough for spiritual people. If you want to know what love looks like, and not what love feels like, you won't find it here. Those physical lover should analyze love from emotional perspectives. If you failed to do even that, means you are one hedonistic brat who yet to feel loved.
This is the extract from a discussion of me, and Mrs. Azzah Anuar, a graduate student pursuing her PhD at Michigan State University. All credit goes to her, I resorted.
Well, now it is all said and done, good luck finding your true love!
p/s: believe me, true love does EXISTS.
Salam alaik~
=)
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