Tuesday, June 30, 2009

It’s Karma

Just finished watching ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’, and I thought it was full of lesson for me. Sometimes, love can be a very deceiving thing. You may say what you don’t mean, and you may mean what you don’t even say. Just for some people, we could see it even if we don’t say it. It shows. It really does. In this kind of mood, I put on those tracks by Lisa’s Diary and Kluk Kluk Adventure. Some jazz by Estrella could also ease my feeling a little bit. Yes, I couldn’t get over her yet. But I’m trying so damn hard for that. She also can’t get over him yet. There’s no need for her to say anything about that will make me notice it. Like she had once mentioned, yes, we were both hypocrites, if I understand her point. I tried everything I could to forget her. But once I got home, my families just couldn’t stop talking about my ex. Here’s my mother’s advice about her, ‘women are sensitive. They will always need your attention. If you can’t afford to take care of one, don’t pledge your commitment.’ Then I said, ‘sometimes I feel like it was my entire fault after all’. My mother continued, ‘just go on with your life. You will meet different person, and from them you will learn’. Then there’s one of my best friends, said to me, ‘Why can’t you treat her like you treat your ex?’ I replied, ‘Like what? I’m just doing fine’. Seriously, I just can’t understand this buddy. She added, ‘You know, ask her out. No one else but the two of you. Like what you did with your ex, go to Times Square. Talk for hours at Heartz Chicken. Stroll all the way to Pavillion. Share some cheese cake. Tease each other. Somehow, you were no longer able think about all that didn’t you?’ I remained silent, losing ideas, before I continued, ‘But you know, I take about three years before being able to ask my ex out. It was not easy for me’. She then stared at me in disbelief and just said that I’m pathetic. Yeah, right. I’m pathetic. You see, I’m not taking my girl to my jamming session, or to my first public performance, or to a crowded metal core gig, or even a free rock concert. That’s how I showed her how much I cared about her. She might not see it, but it was there. If there’s a problem in that, I might as well deal with it myself. My ex was simple. I understand her inside out. But this one is not. It was like a Dan Brown’s novel. Like a hidden code by Da Vinci needed to be cracked, like a fragile crypto, which you were likely to destroy the precious hidden information if you tried to open it without proper codes. A new riddle every day. She’s totally different from anyone I had ever met in my life. She’s one in a million. I don’t know under what spell she had put me under but believe me, it worked extremely well. Just sometimes, she become just like Jenny. Unlike my ex, we were both extremely different. I don’t know what will happen if she met my family. I really don’t know what will happen if I met her family either. We both lead a different life, extremely different backgrounds, raised in extremely different ways and even now, a different taste of music and interest. At least we shared something which we have in common. Our belief in the relationship. It’s karma.
P/s: somehow I was using a lot of ‘extremely’. Please excuse me.

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