Last Glance to the Spring...

The past few months are extremely exhausting to me. I never though that I will be strong enough for all that happened. 

My grandfather's stroke attack, my brother's myterious disease, my significant other who will never understand, my financial problems, my bad mid term results, my headache, some problems with the band and countless assignments and presentation.

I really need a perfect getaway. So guys and girls in Eugene, be prepared cause I think I'm gonna lose some part of myself in our PD trip.

I don't know.

Maybe I'll just go crazy.

Maybe I just leave in haste.

Or maybe I'll just stare and stay silent.

Who knows what will happen?

Maybe I'll have the truth undiscovered.

Maybe the trip will unite those who were meant for each other.

Maybe this trip will make me forget about her (at least for a while).

Maybe I'll just go dumb and act like a punk, how I used to be a few years ago (God, I miss the time).

Maybe I'll put some vinegar in the sugar solution and serve it to those I hated.

Maybe I'll go somewhere (where no one can find me) and try to find myself.

Maybe I'll just stay among the rocks and act like nobody can see me.

Maybe I'll just strum my guitar alone and sing melancholic melodies.

 Maybe I'll go over to see someone and unravel all that I don't care about.

Maybe I'll just mutter alone and hope that nobody could hear me by all means.

Maybe I will go back home in despair.

Maybe the trip will not change anything.

Maybe I'll depressed again.

Maybe there will be no one noticing me.

Maybe they will do it fine even without me.

Well, I don't care.

I don't mind.

If some punks were to face me and say bullshit.

I'll just make them regret that.

I'm not a scholarly writer.

I hate being formal, as a matter of fact.

But I were born as a fighter.

And as a fighter I will die.

I don't have great intelligence.

And I don't have remarkable looks.

But I have faith in my heart.

Typical.

People used to see the outer view of someone.

Deceiving physical looks.

DECEIVING.

I don't know. Maybe it's just a human nature.

Or it we just no longer care of what embedded inside.

Sometimes the truth are something that we're afraid of.

THE TRUTH.

When we keep the lies living in our heart.

It keep blackened, hid under the shadow of ego.

My mother called me yesterday.

I miss my family so much.

One of my cousin are dying of HIV.

I hope I could see him before he died.

I hope he will die in faith. For the sins are unbearable.

How drugs can be an ultimate murderer.

It takes away everything from you.

I wonder what will happen to his family.

His wife and his daughter. It would be a disgrace.

Currently listening to Nirvana. Kurt Cobain once said, "I'm a product of spoiled America."

I'm disturbed.

DISTURBED.

Then Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day said, "Nobody likes you. Everyone left you. They're all out without you, having fun."

I'm extremely disturbed.

EXTREMELY DISTURBED.

One last thing to say.

Is she arrogant, or just playing hard to get?

Some people deserve a better life than a mere, frustrating false hopes.

Beware, those who like to give false hopes.

You are likely to kill someone in the near future.

spoiler: this post is filled with countless figurative meanings. it's a literature masterpiece.

Eugenius Beware!!!!

Excitement is not expensive!

Just as long as we're enjoying ourselves. So guys, pay up!!! haha

Can't wait for the trip.. huhuhu..

The True Meaning of Life.

Alhamdulillah.

I've gone through a very hard time recently, and I think I'm fully recovered.

Sorry guys and girls, pals and mates, friends and companions.

I've been acting like such a jerk lately. But now I'm ok. Seriously.

Life has been quiet a funny thing, and I have learnt so many things from it.

for my various readers, i know that you might enjoy reading my so-called-personal blog.

But now I understand one thing for sure.

Blog is for us to give opinions, our point of views and perspectives on others.

It's not all about ourself. Not supposed to be.

When we were lost, always go back to basic. That's one of the reasons for us to have faith in our religion. To obtain a guideline for ourselves when we were lost, after strayed for quiet a lengthy period.

Friends, ask yourself, will you survive without friends? I need you to look back to one of my previous post, entitled For True Friends Last Forever. Yes, we would have some problems from time to time. Confrontations are typical. It varies according to how we managed to handle it.

But please. There's always room and chances to make it up again. Believe in yourself and your friends, put aside all of the hatred feeling and spend some time together.

I REALLY HATE LOSING A FRIEND. BECAUSE IT'S EXTREMELY HARD FOR ME TO GET ONE.

I've recently become a featured writer at helium.com, and I kind of like it. Seriously, it really improves my writing skills. Being together with all the other established writers from around the world, I feel appreciated. Check out the website, and search for 'syahmi yem' (giler poyo! haha)

The last performance during Malam Ko-PLN. I really enjoyed it. A lot. The bass line for 'Lena Diulit Intan' was not so easy, and it hurts my fingers a lot. But I don't mind. It worth the blister.

The next thing is those who remember my birthday. A lot of gratitute for all of you. Millions of thanks to

- My parents (miss you guys so much)

- My classmates (Eugenius)

- Mr. Kamal (the first person who wished me!)

- My ex-Classmates (Glendalians)

- Afiqah (thanks for the card)

- Nadiah + Nani + Nur (thanks for the cakes)

- Zerrot + Qiqi Lala (thanks for the drink)

- Kapao + Jukie + Adlil + Larry/Salim

- As + Syimma + Azleen (wakil res-q?)

- Wahie (sorry, I was practicing for the performance when you called)

- And a lot more that I was not to mention here. I love u guys.

It will be quiet a long time before I updated my blog again, as the finals are approaching. Got to work hard on it. Finally, GOOD LUCK FOR THE FINAL EXAM.

Avoid distractions. Organize your priority. Friends forever.

Tips for PILN 2009 (May Differs to Condition)

There have been some request from those who were applying for JPA's PILN 2009. I'm not sure if I got this right, but from what I have pondered for time and time again. There's some tips that you should consider before going for the interview.

1. Be prepared.

The night before the interview, have your clothes ready.

During my time, I tested the attire a few times that night to ensure that I look the best.

2. Be early, but not too early.

It's typical. Every interview must have you to come early. However, coming too early might as well distract yourself.

I arrived at the centre about five minutes before 8 o'clock (the time of the interview mentioned on the internet). I just have a mere, but healthy breakfast. Be very alert when you were there. If you are coming with your parents, tell them to wait for you anywhere else (being chaperoned might also be a distraction).

3. Focus and have faith in yourself.

Being nervous is typical. Everyone feel nervous, it's just how they managed to hide the nervousness differs. So, control your nervousness.

I was nervous, but I don't think I was extremely nervous. Besides, I think I was overconfident that particular time. Thank God I didn't do anything that makes me looks stupid. But with those guys and girls mentioning their achievements, it really makes me looks small.

4. During the interview, MIND WHAT YOU SAID!

Some things were not appropriate to be mentioned during the interview. Please be smart on what you were saying. I think it will be easier for you to understand if I mention my own experience.

When I was taking the interview, there was two interviewer, a man and a woman. The man was just going through my files and certificates, while the woman asked me some questions. There was about seven person in my group, and I'm the only Malay guy. We got four girls, two of them were Chinese and the other two were Malay. The three boys are me, an Indian boy and also a Chinese boy.

It is important for you yo remember that mind whatever you said. Think before you make a statement. Do not go against the government. Show a very high patriotism. Say enthusiastically that you want to serve the nation (even if you're not). Be alert and proactive.

Malas da nk tulis... Sori... Hahaha...

To Whom It May Concern...

This song is dedicated to the BOYFRIEND of a girl I like...

Chump by Green Day (Dookie 1994)

I don't know you
But,I think I HATE you
You're the reason for my misery
Strange how you've become
my biggest enemy
And I've never even seen your face

Maybe it's just jealousy
Mixing up with a VIOLENT mind
A circumstance that doesn't make much SENSE
Or maybe I'm just DUMB

You're the cloud hanging out over my head
Hail comes crashing down
welting my face
MAGIC MAN,EGOCENTRIC PLASTIC MAN
Yet you still get one over on me

Maybe it's just jealousy
Mixing up with a VIOLENT mind
A circumstance that doesn't make much SENSE
Or maybe I'm just DUMB

p/s: i wish u were dead. hahaha...

aku yg 0 (k0s0ng).

k0s0ng.

giler pelik. serius cm xde smgt giler.

nk wat pape. siot giler.

sori r kwn2 klu ak sdikit sensitif. ntah r. rse mcm nk tdo je all the tyme. haha.

smlm jamming pon cm x smgt gler. nk post blog pon cm siot je rse.

sbb pew ek? ak da x igt Tuhan kot... kne back to basic...

ak igt nk wat lirik. cm xde ilham ag. nk compose lagu.

hadi laila's lounge, noh hujan, loque butterfingers, hafiz bittersweet...

pencipta2 lirik yg sgt best... cne diorg wat ek...

still, ak xde smgt giler. hidup yg membosankn... bosan..............................