I know I should not be posting anything personal here.
But who cares?
To those who don't know anything, please shut the fuck up.
To those who know even a little about this, please shut the fuck up.
I was so damned miserable right now. She say she hates me. I hates myself even more.
Why did she wants it? Cause she mentioned it again.
She wanted it, but still, I refuse. Listen, dear. I will never let you go.
Even if you're demanding it.
She don't have faith in me anymore. What's the use of a relationship without trust?
We've been together for so long, and whenever someone asked me how I could keep up this relationship for so long, I will just answer; it's all about trust.
But she don't trust me anymore.
Am I the one to blame? Am I???????
If she was reading this, I want her to know.
I was ashamed to my friends. If I was not loyal to you, I will never tell my friends about this girl who I cared about so much. But I boasted about you and our lengthy relationship to my friends. I even remember my previous lecturer, Ms. Azima being amazed when I mentioned how long we're holding on. She congratulate me. And now you wants a break up, and I feel like a fool. An IDIOT. Last night, when I went out with some friends, they asked me about you. All I can do is just smile. "Jaket ni awek ko je yg boleh pakai kn Syahmi?" My ears buzzed. My head was about to blow. I stay silent and walked away.
The girl once I boasted now letting me down.
THANKS, dear, for wasting my last 6 years for you. It's my own mistake. For being too devoted to you. For being a fanatic to this girl who finally tell me how much she HATED me. Why can't you just believe me? If I'm telling you I'm busy, then I am! A couple should not always be calling each other all the time, don't you understand? I have my list of priorities, and you know what's my priorities! You should respect and understand my own responsibilities. If even now you have made it this way, I can't imagine how we can live together. No, I won't throw your pictures away. It will stay in my wallet besides my picture. It will stay in my Twilight as a bookmark. It will stay as my laptop wallpaper. It will remain as my phone's screensaver. It will still be my User Photo. It will stay in my Friendster album. I will still call you my numero uno. I will still mentions you as my significant others. I will still post your pictures in my blog.
Even if you hates me.
Even if you say it's over.
I won't allow it.
I'll never let you go.
I've told you this before, and I want to say it again.
Nor death do us apart.
Nor DEATH do us apart.